PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

Spread the love

WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE IN YOUR LIFE?

This is a very sensitive topic, because as much as we have the power to control what is happening in our lives, we unfortunately can’t chose people to be in our lives.   People in your life can bring joy, but can also cause a lot of stress, anxiety and depression.  Never waste your words on those people in your life who only deserve your silence. Because sometimes the greatest show of strength is to say nothing at all.

Life path is like a journey by train, where you meet different people, they jump in and begin talking, share good and bad news, some happy and some just unpleasant. What is good is that you don’t have to participate in their conversation if you’re not in the mood, or disagree with what they’re discussing, all you have to do is to be silent – knowing that you will all get off at the different stations and continue walking to different directions.

You can avoid certain people, ignore some, and tolerate some.  But there are some people that may be difficult to tolerate, and unfortunately these are people you can’t avoid nor ignore.  People will want you to fail and will be jealous of you and want you to be the same as what they expect of you, it comes down to they want to be better than you but without having to change anything themselves, this is fine if you want to stay in the same situation your in.  But if you want to change your life, empower yourself, grow and be successful you have to be strong and wise enough to deal with all kinds of people.

Many people are discouraged from reaching their potential by other people who pin labels on them.  Discourage such people from using labels around you – they are full of prejudice.  These are people who would do anything in their power to put you down, most of the time these are people who were assisted by others to get where they are, but they drop the ladder when they reach the top.  Some people prosper beyond their imaginations because of people who believe in them more than they believe in themselves – these are people who will mentor you until you get to the top.

People will mislead and judge you.  You must be able to listen, evaluate and learn, and sometimes be brutal.  Remember that you cannot please people.  Don’t be frustrated or seek recognition the wrong way.  People who are right for someone else may not be right for you, and vice versa.   Anthony J D’Angelo says, “The greatest gift that you can give yourself is a little bit of your own attention.”

HOW TO HANDLE PEOPLE WHO COME INTO YOUR LIFE

People come into our lives for a reason, for a short while or a lifetime.  Some are positive and are a blessing to us, some are negative and may leave you depressed.  Try to be more of a listener than a problem solver, evaluate each person, and try to find out the lesson from each encounter.  As much as possible, eliminate negative people from your life.

Seek out and start enjoying the company of those who are successful, exciting and have a positive outlook.  You will naturally become more positive yourself, simply by association.   There are only four types of people you need in your life, those who love you unconditionally and will never judge you (family), a person who will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear (brutally honest friend), people who have a positive outlook (a mentor), trusted and cheerful friend.

FAMILY

Mother Teresa once said,”If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”  Your family loves you unconditionally, you may quarrel from time to time, but home is where the healing begins.  You may leave home unpleasantly, but your family will miss you, and will ask no questions when you return. 

Some people will only love you if you fit into their box.  Never blame anyone for your failures.  Most people blame their families for their failures, blaming their failures on what is commonly called “Family Tax” or “Black Tax”.  I totally disagree with this notion – your story cannot determine your future.

BRUTAL HONEST FRIEND

Other

This is the person who will tell you the truth, no matter how hard it is to hear.   This is a person who will help you transform your life.  He will tell you what you’re doing wrong, and give you an honest opinion about any matter. He will save you from self sabotage or destruction.  What is more important is not to resist change.  Don’t argue, listen and learn.

A MENTOR

This is a successful person, who have been through what you are experiencing and triumphed.  This is the person you trust, and will turn to for advice, and trust his recommendations.  He will guide you through your chosen path.

TRUSTED AND CHEERFUL FRIEND

This is where you offload your baggage without fear of being judged.  This could be your mother.   We all need to be recognized for our achievements. We’ve got to be recognized for doing something well.  And somebody is got to point it to us. We all need that pat on the shoulder, and hear “well done”.   She will prepare you for the best results in your life, because your success is hers too.   She is never tired of listening to your problems, and will always point out or remind you of all the right things you have done – highlighting and congratulating you on your accomplishments.  

Other people never know what was right, they always point on what is wrong.   Some people will never support you because they are afraid of what you might become.  Hence you need a tireless cheerleader, who will support you through thick and thin.  A person who is always on standby to answer your calls at any hour.

11 Comments

  1. Hey, Thank you for writing on What Kind of People are in your life?. I learn a lot while reading your article. I found that Mother Teresa once said,”If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”  Your family loves you unconditionally, you may quarrel from time to time, but home is where the healing begins. Your guide is useful for me. I will enjoy every kind of people in my life. Keep this grate work up.

  2. Hi there! the most important thing in our life and which can determine our future is our company, it could be Family or friends or partner… We could be very positive but we have a negative best friend who influences our subconscious with all negative vibes which can create a block in our mind and then a block of actions. Thank you very much for the content.

    1. Thank you for stopping by.  I highly appreciate your time and comments.

      All the best.

      Sandikazi

  3. I agree completely with you on the four types of people we need in our lives.  Once years ago, when taking a battery of vocational preference tests, I was told that I needed to have two brutally honest people in my life because sometimes I was not realistic about the gravity of a situation.  All my working life I have tried to do that.  We sure don’t need the folks who try to pull us down, but we do need the other kinds of people about which you have written as we face the circumstances of life.  This is a practical, instructive, uplifting article.  Thanks. 

    1. Thank you Anastazja for stopping by.  I highly appreciate your time and comments.

      All the best.

      Sandikazi

  4. Hello,

    Thank you for this wonderful post. I can totally relate! 

    I had a co-worker who lived nearby so we carpooled. Every single day I would hear him say something negative. Things like “im broke”, “I don’t have any money”, “i’m old and sick”.  Oh crap, it just drains the energy right out of me. A lot of times I just wanted to stop him mid-sentence and tell him to stop this really bad habit but i couldn’t do it. I know he’s neither broke, old(50’s) nor sick but he just has this grim outlook on everything.

    Words are energy. Words have the power to shape a person’s future. Words have the power to influence the mood of people you come in contact with.

    But then again, I believe we meet people for a reason. I think the reason here is to learn the effects of negativity on people we speak to. 

    1. Thank you Sonny for stopping by.  I highly appreciate your time and comments.

      All the best.

      Sandikazi

  5. Very nice article! Depression is no joke, as someone who wants to study psychology later on in life, I’d love to delve deeper into this topic. This quote you mentioned, ” If you want to change the world, go home and love your family,” is a deep and wonderful one no doubt. Many people lack love in their family, mine included none the less, and it’s key for a happier life. Also, I’m no expert but exercise really does help improve your mood, it releases mood-boosting neurotransmitters. Just adding my two cents. Cheers!

    1. Thank you Jose for stopping by.  I highly appreciate your time and comments.

      All the best.

      Sandikazi

  6. Hi! I am obligated to disagree on the family thing. Some are toxic, narcissistic, just sick! Parents are known to be jealous of their children if they have personal issues themselves with self-esteem for example.

    Some have had kids just for self-interest and to pick up after them for heavens sakes! Family is whoever is selfless and non-judgemental and gives advice and critique in a compassionate way without beating around the bush.

    I’ve read somewhere that you are the product of five people you regularly associate with. Any thoughts or did you ever hear or read this fact?

    I oppose the notion that your “story cannot determine your future”. Studies have found that children live PTSD symptoms way far into adulthood because of some event or trauma. And parents shape how the child interacts with others and life perception. Children who did not get the affection, attention, and validation they need…Well, that will leave a dent in life!

    Those who had problems with bullying and socializing are more likely to maintain difficulties with relationships and socializing in adulthood.

    Some people don’t even have anybody cheering for them. They are alone and scared of others because they’ve been burned by them too many times…Too many knives in the back and cutthroats to count! Why not talk about support groups, faith groups or professionals (psychologist, psychoanalyst) cause not everyone can handle what your troubles are and they might even make it worse!!!

    I disagree with the silence. I must explain…You must discern if it’s better to keep silent and not answer fools-and become one yourself! Don’t silence your “voice”, your expression of who you are and what you stand for just to “not make any trouble or fuss” for someone else when they wouldn’t give you any space to live if they were able!

    Don’t, please don’t compromise on yourself to keep the peace! Be yourself!

    If you see you are dealing with a narcissist-silence and no contact and be looking like the most uninteresting grey boring rock you ever did see. They will go somewhere else.

    Final thoughts on this: It’s not our job and task to help people understand us and accept us and it is not our place to change them. We can only have power over our actions and not others after all!

    1. Hi Liz,

      My only sister is Liz.  Your comments were like coming from her.

      Let me first thank you for stopping by.  I highly appreciate your time and comments.

      There are dysfunctional families of course, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love each other – I believe mine is one of those.  In fact all families have problems, mainly jealousy and resentment.  You can have a brutally honest friend and a mentor, as I mentioned, that can be regarded as family.  

      It is true that you are a product of who you associate yourself with.  What is important is to know your identity (I am passionate about this topic and published a book titled “Know your identity”)  When you know who you are, you can chose who to associate yourself with – those who share the same principles, moral values and ethics.

      i repeat, your story cannot determine your future – you are in the driver’s seat, you’re holding the steering.  Human mind works just like the computer – you can chose what to archive.  Psychologists and Psychiatrists are there to assist you if you have PTSD issues, there are organizations that are established to help people who have had a traumatic childhood.   They are effective in helping troubled people reshape their lives, even the religious organizations.

      We share the same view on silence, I said you can decide whether to participate in a conversation or not.  You cannot change other people, you can only influence those who are able to listen and learn.

      All the best.

      Sandikazi

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *