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TOXIC COMPETITION

We are different people.  Everyone is unique.  We have different paths.  There are certain things you know that are not known by other people.  We have different intelligence quotient (IQ).  We have different ambitions, driven by different factors or experiences.  We perceive things differently, and we get our life satisfaction from different things.  Why then would you like to live like someone else?  Why want what your friend, family member, or neighbor have?  Why envy other people and get frustrated when you see them prosper?  This is not good, and will not only make you sick, but drive you to do things that you may not be proud of.

HOW TO TELL IF COMPETITION IS TOXIC

Competition can be a good thing.  It can motivate you, keep you focused on a goal, and persevere.  Competition is healthy when it is inclusive, and everyone have fun.  It is good when it is effective, producing good results.  If the reward is not harmful to anyone, and not cause resentment.

Competitition is toxic when it creates a tense atmosphere and drives people apart, when people become obsessed and determined to put others down.  It is toxic when it involves jealous, anger and resentment.  When there’s pressure to achieve, and judgement.  This robs a person of self-discovery and fun, and cause stress, which can result into anxiety and depression.

Parents often fall into this unhealthy competition, which influences the child development and how they think.  It is not healthy for the children who are often put under pressure to perform better than others.  It is very harmful for the children, they don’t enjoy being themselves, and often stressed and anxious.  They learn not to accept failure or support those who do better than them.  They become jealousy, bully others, and may experience anger problems.  They can ultimately become very unpleasant adults.

FOCUS ON YOURSELF

Some people waste a lot of time worrying about what happens in other people’s lives, instead of focusing on their own. Focusing on other people’s performance can pull your attention away from what is important in your life.  You gain self-confidence by focusing on the right things, things that will improve your performance and wellbeing, and make you happy.  If you could take time focusing on yourself, you can realize that there is a lot that is good about you.  You will find something special about, and ultimately find your purpose in life.  Everyone has something good about himself/herself.  Your success is just a matter of identifying what it is that you good at, and passionate about, and then develop it.  Don’t set yourself for failure by following other people’s dreams and passions – it is not healthy.  Find your own dream and passion, and follow it.  Avoid comparing yourself with other people.

LEGACY OF HATRED AND RESENTMENT

People who envy other people and want to live or do everything they do become anxious, frustrated and depressed.  They pass this mentality to their children, breeding a society full of hatred and resentment, because of the toxic competition.  Children may grow up hating those  who attain better things in life, and perceive themselves as under-achievers or failures.  They may resent those who achieve what they wish to achieve and unable to do so because of different circumstances.  They may even think of doing something to harm them, which may include rape or murder.

ARE YOU DRIVEN BY MONEY?

Money is one of the success factors.  Most of the ill thoughts have something to do with money.  Money is good, it’s good to have it, it make things happen.  But it can be dangerous if you let it control you, and drive all your actions.  It may destroy you, and your relationship with other people.  It can turn you into a ruthless person.  There are people who would do anything for money, including selling their souls, or terminating a life.

Crime is driven by the desire to make money.  People steal, sell drugs, engage in human trafficking, heists and robberies, killing innocent people in the process, all because they want to have money, and want to live the life of other people.  When you are driven by money you never get satisfaction.  The more you have it, the more you want it.  You can achieve greater things in life through honest living.  

It is possible to live a fullfilled and happy life without having a lot of money.  Having a lot of money doesn’t guarantee a happy life.  First and foremost crime doesn’t pay.  Most people who are involved in crime experience drug or alcohol abuse issues, because they are haunted by guilt and fear of being caught or exposed, they then seek comfort in drugs or alcohol or use them to gain power to do bad things.  Most of them end up in prison, suffer from the post traumatic stress disorders and commit suicide.

PUSH YOURSELF

Once you find your passion, develop it, and push yourself.  If you don’t push yourself you will accomplish nothing.  Believe in yourself, and avoid imitating other people.  Dream and believe in your dreams. Visualize what your life should be like.  Picture your success and don’t let any thing deter or discourage you.  Never give up.  Follow your heart, no matter how hard keep moving forward.  Be optimistic.   Don’t let fear stop you from persuing your dreams, but be fuelled by the fear of going back to miserable life.  Take control of your life and stop listening to the nay sayers.  Challenges will come, that may make you feel want to give up and doubt your success.  Keep going, and fight for your ambitions.  Be like a fighter who’s determined to win the fight.  If you make mistakes and fall, get up and dust yourself, learn from your mistakes and remember them so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes, and keep going.  Keep challenging yourself, and use your common sense.  Figure out where you need to improve, and keep your priorities straight.  Have fun in the process, make sure you are happy so that you can make other people around you happy to support you on your journey.  

 

6 Comments

  1. I seriously dislike competition and it is inevitable and encouraged in a workplace. It creates such an unhealthy atmosphere and I hope, one day, we may be brave enough to actually oppose to that and freely state our opinions.  At this point I can’t even imagine it will be truly possible without consequences. 

    We do it to our children as well and have a look at the situations at school , where everything is driven by competition to be better than someone else.  How much better we will be as human beings if we will concentrate only  on our own self worth and development instead of looking over our shoulders at someone’s else achievements. 

       Thank you truly for writing an article on this topic, and this is the first time I came across opening this subject on internet.  

    1. Thank you Milla for stopping by.  I highly appreciate your time and comments.  Competition creates bullies among children, and cause anxiety and depression at school, and in the workplace.

      All the best.

  2. Thanks for this wonderful post. Like you have said in life we all have our various path to follow and the sooner we understand that the better. Many people are getting themselves into the wrong doings because of this unhealthy competition we bring ourselves into and to be frank, its not worth it at all, and this is common amongst younger people.
    I had a conversation with a young girl who was doing drugs just because she felt it was how to “feel among”. And I made her understand its a very wrong competition she had gotten into. This is a very vital information everyone should spend time reading.

    1. Thank you Dane for stopping by.   I highly appreciate your time and comments.

      All the best.

  3. Hey. Love your article, it is very helpful. i 100% agree with what you say here, specially the Money part. I have also heard that someone did a study (Cant remember who)about money and happiness, and they found out that people that live simple lives, meaning they have what they need but not much more, are happier, cos the less you have the less you have to worry about.

    1. Hi Simon,

      Thank you for stopping by.  I highly appreciate your time and comments.

      All the best.

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