ENVY

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ENVY DEFINITION

 

Envy is an emotion which occurs when a person lacks another’s superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it.  Some dictionaries define envy as pain at the sight of another’s good fortune, stirred by those who have what we ought to have. Although envy is generally seen as something negative, it has always been the driving force behind the movement of economies and must be endured to achieve the “keep up with the Joneses” system. 

ENVY AS A SOURCE OF VIOLENCE

Not only is the envious person rendered unhappy by his or her envy, but that person may also wish to inflict misfortune on others, in forms of emotional abuse and violent acts of criminality.   It is one of the main causes of aggressive behaviour.  Most of the crime and violence, especially violence against women, is triggered by envy.  Men are used to be the leaders, they were taught this through affirmations, and suddenly things changed, women are taking over the leadership positions.  Some have accepted this change, but some who are resistant to change perceive women as moving into their territory, taking what ought to be theirs.  

ENVY TRIGGERS STRESS

Envy is one of the most potent causes of unhappiness.  People who envy other people are always unhappy. They have no peace within themselves. They are always competing with their neighbours, friends or relatives. They may be blessed with everything that an ordinary person may wish for, but they remain unsatisfied with their lives. They are blinded by their envy, not grateful, and undermine their blessings.

They may get into debts trying to live like other people. If you buy things driven by envy you are running a risk of experiencing cognitive symptoms of stress.   When you see a piece of furniture or a new garment from your neighbour or friend and you press to buy, even though you can’t afford it. If you inside the store you begin to look at other people’s trolleys. Don’t envy other people, the person in front or behind you. Don’t compare what you have with theirs because you don’t know their responsibilities and how they earn money. You only know yourself and what you can afford.

How can you expect blessings when you envy other people, get angry and jealous when they succeed? You wish all the bad things to happen to other people, and you mislead those who seek advice from you, because watching them suffering pleases you. Do not live as somebody lives unless he is a good person whose deeds are upright, but rather live as God would have you live. Righteousness will draw awareness in you, of your righteous living.

OVERCOMING ENVY

Overcoming envy might be similar to dealing with other negative emotions, like anger, or resentment. Those who are experiencing anger issues often seek professional treatment, like anger management, to help understand why they feel the way they do and how to cope.  People experiencing envy often have a skewed perception on how to achieve true happiness. They need help to change these perceptions, with professional help they will be more able to understand the real meaning of fortune and satisfaction with what they do have. 

APPRECIATE YOUR BLESSINGS

The only way to succeed in life is to know your strengths and weaknesses, appreciate your blessings, and be your best. Envying other people, want what they have, and seek to do things as they do is a guaranteed downfall. When you ignore your blessings you fail, because you’re not making an effort to optimize your strengths. You’re wasting time on trying to change yourself to something you’re not.  Sometimes we miss opportunities, lose good people or good things, because we take them for granted – we don’t give them the appreciation they deserve. We only realize their value when they are taken away from us. We’re always chasing what we don’t have, and overlooking our blessing. 

KNOW YOUR IDENTITY

Ignorant people sell themselves short by imitating other people, and undermine their blessings. Don’t try to be someone else because you will never succeed, instead you will lose the best of you. Don’t compare yourself to someone else, because we are different, we all have different stories and life paths. My weaknesses could be your strengths, and we stumble and succeed at different times in life.

Everyone has an identity that makes him unique. You are special, you have a gift that no one has. There is only one you, and there will never be another you. There is something within the you of you that is different from every single human being, that will determine how you will project in this world, how you will see the world, how you will become a special human being.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

Don’t be motivated by other people’s success, you are not them, you are unique. Find motivation within yourself. Stop limiting yourself by benchmarking your performance to performance of other people. Your performance may even exceed theirs. You are capable of being a brand yourself. Why then would you like to live like someone else? Why want what your friend, family member, or neighbour have? Why envy other people and get frustrated when you see them prosper? Follow your own dreams.  Love yourself, be proud of who you are, and love what is yours.  

FOCUS ON WHAT YOU HAVE

Focus on what you have rather than what you don’t have.  Set your own goals, be prepared, success does not happen overnight and so there is no elevator to take you to it. It does not matter what special skills or qualities that you possess; you still have to work to make progress. There are no shortcuts and you will not be able to skip steps. You have to keep climbing towards your goals. Therefore, you have to work hard, and be patient. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by other people, what they do, and how they pursue their own goals. Don’t let them persuade you to a different path and abandon your own goals. You have to keep going and don’t ever give up on your goals.

 

21 Comments

  1. Yeah, i understand that feeling especially when people you think forest deserve it gets what they want. I agree when we focus on what we want and stop comparing we will be better off. 

    Sometimes we are envy because we havent founf a way to work things out. 

    Once I have a plan and works towards it, i beleve i can too can what i want. Thanks for the article. 

    1. Thank you for reading.  I highly appreciate your time and comments.

      All the best.

  2. Hi Sandikazi 

    You have raised an important issue here, as the green-eyed monster quickly rears its head.   It is so hard not to feel something when you see someone you know get everything and you get nothing. You work your fingers to the bone and get nowhere, whilst someone else hardly does anything and gets everything. It seems so unfair.

    I really appreciate all your work in this regard, as the monster can be defeated. The tips you have parted are very useful and you have to release that jealously about goods is not worth it. You can be poor and happy, rather than rich and sad. You ave to let things go, otherwise, they will eat at you. 

     Thanks

    Antonio

    1. Thank you Antonio for stopping by.  I highly appreciate your time and comments.

      All the best.

  3. I love the very simple and understandable mature of this post. Envy is a part of every individual but the ability to control it so it doesn’t drive us to the wrong side of things is what we all need to learn. I have heard of so many instances where envy have driven lots of people into destruction. Appreciating what you have and wanting to get a better you is the key to getting over being envy. Cheers.

    1. Thank you for reading.  I always appreciate your time and comments.

      All the best.

  4. Hello Sandikazi!

    Envy is like a snake that poisons and erodes our souls, not allowing us enjoy our everyday’s life moments. It often occurs in people who are unsure about their capacities (also, not ambitious enough to start fighting for achieving their own successes) and cannot forgive & forget the failures they experience, while seeing that others are better.

    It is a horrible sentiment, and it takes away our power to love the life. Having been envious myself, I know how hard it is to live with that one and seeing the envied person as a rival. And rivalry often leads to larger disasters – World Wars are an example.

    It is not easy to find a way to exit this cell. We find it almost as a part of our nature to compare ourselves to others, stopping doing it is a real challenge. Getting then to our own and pleasant success would surely heal our souls from the envy plague – that’s remarkable and wonderful if it happens!

    So let’s have good luck and success, and never envy :).

    Best regards,

    Peter

    1. Thank you Peter for stopping by.  I highly appreciate your time and comments.

      All the best.

      Sandikazi

  5. I’m not ashamed enough to admit that throughout my life I have had issues with envy and jealousy at times. In fact a bit of envy is why I see a behavioral therapist a couple times each month and my counselor thinks is partly to blame for my urge to always wonder what people are thinking about me and comparing myself to others who are more successful at life than me. But talking helps and you are absolutely correct on one needing to find their identity, it’s something I am still trying to do. Thanks for your post on envy, it was helpful.

    1. Thank you for reading.  I always appreciate your time and comments.

      All the best.

  6. This is a post that everyone ought to read because it can go a long way to shape the life on someone. Envy is one of the most sad characteristics that can be posses by an individual. It destroys not just the one with that trait, but it can also lead you to doing some evil deeds. I would be pleased to share this post on my social media page.

    1. Thank you Bella for stopping by.  I highly appreciate your time and comments.

  7. Very encouraging article. Hopefully it will help people get over this very bad feeling that is envy. It’s not easy to do so and people are easily to fall back to it as it needs to have strong belief to yourself in order to overcome it but you give some pretty good advice here that will hopefully help those that need it. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Thank you Stratos for stopping by.  I highly appreciate your time and comment.

  8. I liked the way you approached this topic. People most of the time focus in what they don’t have. And they believe that because of that they don’t have, they can’t be happy. But it’s even worse when somebody envies another person because of that they don’t have and tries to cause pain to him or her. I liked the quote “Blowing another person’s candle won’t make your light shine brighter”.

    1. Thank you Henry for stopping by.  I highly appreciate your time and comments.

      All the best.

  9. How terrible is envy. And it touches even that most precious circles: friends and family.

    As people seek for help when they have anger problems, they should also seek professional help when suffering from uncontrolled feelings of envy.

    I liked what you said about our uniqueness. Comprehending this should rule envy out.

  10. I should have become envious on various occasions in my life when I see some persons doing better than me, when I see them being celebrated more than I was celebrated, when I see them getting favour from men around; what really helped me to overcome envy is simply because I know who I am, what I worth and what I have inside of me. I celebrate anyone I see prospering, succeeding or doing exploits.

    I celebrate you!

    😊

    1. Well said.  Thank you for stopping by.  I highly appreciate your time and comments.

  11. Ma’am, you have done a lot of good by putting up this post. It is life transforming, liberating and helpful to humanity.

    Envy has done so much harm, it has caused plenty of damage in our world at large. Envy is dangerous indeed. Thanks for the tips to overcome envy. One that has been a very big help for me is that I believe in myself 101%

    Bast regards!

    1. Thank you for stopping by.  I highly appreciate your time and comments.

      All the best.

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